Twenty Questions
by What-if-it-was
Summary: Set during the begining of the Arrancar Arc. Renji and Ikkaku are guarding the town. Orihime wants to help, but her short attention span leads her to spaz. One shot. Rated T for slightly mature content. Don't own Bleach!


**Setting: Rooftop somewhere in Karakura.**

**Written as a script.**

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**Orihime:** I'm bored.

**Ikkaku:** Well then you shouldn't have come. We warned you that sentry duty would be boring.

**Orihime:** But I want to help!

**Renji:** _(exchanges a look with Ikkaku.)_ Look, we appreciate the thought, but really, if you're going to whine all day…

**Orihime:** I'll be quiet, I promise! (_Renji sends Ikkaku a look that clearly says, "Yeah right")_

**Orihime:** _(Everyone sits back and revels in the sounds of the city. Orihime fiddles with various accessories for a few minutes. Then…)_ Guys this is sooooooooo boring!

**Ikkaku:** Yeah, but it's got to be done. So can you just go away and leave us in peace?

**Orihime:** But then I'll feel bad about not helping! I'll be quiet I promise!

**Renji:** You better… _(it is silent for about five seconds)_

**Orihime:** Ugh! This is super boring, how can you guys do this?

**Renji:** _(loosing his temper)_ That's it! If you're so freaking bored, then go somewhere else!

**Orihime:** _(oblivious to the annoyance on her companions' faces.)_ But you guys are bored too right?

**Ikkaku and Renji:** No DUH!

**Orihime:** Then lets play 20 Questions!

**Ikkaku:** What the hell is that?

**Orihime:** _(dreamily) _The best-est game in the world!

**Renji:** Ok, I'm curious, how do you play?

**Orihime:** Someone thinks of an object or something and then everyone else gets 20 yes or no questions to try and figure it out!

**Ikkaku:** Sounds interesting, let's try.

With that, it begins.

**Orihime: **Ok, I'm thinking of an animal!

**Ikkaku:** Is it bigger than a Yachiru?

**Orihime:** Nope?

**Renji:** Does it fly like Hitsugaya?

**Orihime:** No.

**Ikkaku:** Is it a lowly land-grubber like Byakuya?

**Renji:** _(nervous) _Even though I agree with you I don't think you should talk about him like that. He has ways of knowing.

**Ikkaku:** Yeah right.

Back in Soul Society…

**Byakuya:** _(sneezes)_ Renji!!!

Back in the Human World…

**Ikkaku:** Well Orihime?

**Orihime:** _(confused)_ huh?

**Renji:** _(whispering) _You have to dumb it down for her. Say "thing-that-is-on-the-ground."

**Ikkaku:** _(sniggering)_ Orihime? I meant is the animal a thing-that-is-on-the-ground?

**Orihime:** _(light bulb appears above her head. she snaps her fingers.)_ Aha! And yes it is.

**Ikkaku:** _Thank_ you.

**Renji:** Does it have fur?

**Orihime:** Nope.

**Ikkaku:** Scales?

**Orihime:** Nuh-uh.

**Renji:** Feathers?

**Ikkaku:** Idiot! (_smacks Renji on the side of the head)_ If it can't fly, why would it need feathers?

**Renji:** Hey! And there are animals with feathers that can't fly I think. Rukia told me about a "peny-gin"? _(Renji imitates a penguin for Ikkaku_).

**Orihime:** You mean a penguin?

**Renji:** Yes! That's the one. And so there Ikkaku.

**Ikkaku:** _(rolls eyes) _Moving on.

**Orihime:** No, it is not a flightless bird.

**Ikkaku:** Well we're getting nowhere with the 'what's it covered in' questions. Lets try location. Is it wild like Zaraki?

**Orihime:** Yeah.

**Renji:** Now we're getting somewhere. Does it live in a place that's dry? Or a place that's wet? What about a place in the Rainforest?

**Orihime:** Yes, no, no.

**Ikkaku:** _(throws a rock at Renji's head) _Asshole! You wasted two questions!

**Renji:** _(punches Ikkaku in the gut)_ Well we know where it lives now! Jeeze, what's your problem?

**Orihime:** _(ignoring the chaos)_ You have ten questions left!

**Ikkaku:** Lets do this! Does it eat meat?

**Orihime:** Yep.

**Renji:** Can you find it in Africa?

**Orihime:** Mmhmm.

**Ikkaku:** Is it a hyena?

**Orihime:** No, hyenas have fur.

**Renji:** This is impossible. What doesn't have fur, feathers, or scales?

**Orihime:** _(sweetly)_ Seven questions left!

**Ikkaku:** You're right! There can't be a solution.

**Orihime:** There's a solution. I promise.

**Renji:** I know! I know! I can't believe I didn't see it before!

**Ikkaku:** Spit it out!

**Renji:** Is it a hermaphrodite?

**Orihime and Ikkaku:** What's that?

**Renji:** _(with a straight face)_ An animal that has both male and female- _(he glances at Orihime and swiftly changes what he was about to say.)_-err- parts.

**Ikkaku:** _(cracks up) _

**Orihime:** _(doesn't seem to get it)_ Uh, no?

**Ikkaku and Renji:** (_continue to crack up at Orihime's innocence.)_

**Ikkaku:** Ah… good times… Anyways, is it a Cheetah?

**Orihime:** Fur.

**Renji:** Wildebeest?

**Orihime:** Not a meat-eater.

**Ikkaku:** Llama?

**Renji:** _(cracks up)_

**Orihime:** There's Llamas in Africa?

**Ikkaku and Renji:** uh, Sure!

**Orihime:** Hmmm, I didn't know that. Well it's not a Llama. I'll have to remember that for next time though…

**Renji:** Gosh, I have no idea. Uh, a hippo?

**Orihime:** Nope. And you have two questions left.

**Ikkaku:** I'm ready to give up. Um… a rhinoceros?

**Orihime:** No.

**Renji:** I really don't know. So, is it a hair pin?

**Orihime:** What?

**Renji:** _(weakly)_ Well you know, your hair pins are kinda animals and they could have been to Africa once, who knows.

**Orihime:** No sorry. You guys loose!

**Ikkaku:** So what was it?

**Orihime:** A lion!

**Renji:** _(choking)_ But a lion has fur! And you said that the animal didn't have fur!

**Orihime:** _(defensively)_ But it's a _baby_ lion.

**The End**

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Whohoo! I had fun writing that. I hope you enjoyed this story! If you did, perhaps you could show your gratitude by reviewing? *wink*


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